​“This Young Lady.” Pet Peeve #1. (Today.)

OK, how many of you over, say, 40, have had someone refer to you as “young lady,” or “this young lady”? It’s supposed to be a compliment, so I always feel a little guilty for glaring at the person who says it. But grrr. Calling me “young lady” assumes that (a) I want to be a young lady, (b) the age I actually am is just unfortunate, and (c) I’m stupid enough to think I can pass as “young.”

And it’s sexist as well ageist. Imagine a young woman calling a 60-year-old man, “young man.” It never happens. Why? Because older men have more status than older women, so calling them “young” would be seen as diminishing rather than flattering. Imagining the roles reversed reveals just how infantilizing the interaction is.

How not to rip the person’s head off
So how to correct this interaction without ripping the head off some well-meaning but benighted person? How about, “Young? I left young in the dust years ago.” “Aww, thanks. But honestly, I love my age!” What would (do) you say?